I bet he comes in French.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
