I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
