I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
