worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
