That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
