the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
