Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
