Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
please come you make the beer taste better
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
