you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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