i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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