Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Never joke about your clitoris.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
