Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize