Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
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