yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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