I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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