Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
