You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Hippo gnu deer
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
