I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
this boner is exhausting
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
