every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
