Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
