HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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