She's JV to your varsity
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
