it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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