i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
