U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
In America we eat man semen.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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