oh god the rape fog is back!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
