I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Randomize
