I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
