She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
