dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
