I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
