Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize