I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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