Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My boob is missing a layer of skin
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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