Plan B is the new Plan A
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
