I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize