he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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