This is not my ceiling
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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