To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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