I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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