Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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