I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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