take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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