I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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