one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
