giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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