need another drink. this is the easiest way
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
