have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
