I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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