Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
