Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
