Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
