I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
