Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
