WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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