The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Rumble strips road head = magical
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
