My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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