Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
