Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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